Rambling

Alone

The day was slowly coming to an end. It was one of those days you remember forever. That stay with you forever. Your happy place you keep coming back to. A day when your dreams came true.

It was a beautiful day in the desert and it was coming to an end. I don’t know what it is with me and the desert. It is such a magnificent place, yet so cruel. And yet right there, in the desert, I feel at peace. The day at the desert was coming to an end and still I wanted more. I wanted to go further, higher… up on the top of the dunes. Where the sun was still shining. So I could see for myself. What it was beyond.

From afar I could hear the hustle and bustle of the camp. I could hear people preparing the dinner. It was almost nightfall. But I didn’t want to go back. Not yet. I wanted to go further, up to the sun. And the cold of the night was still far far away.

The sand under my feet was getting colder and I knew I had to make a choice. To go back or forth? But there was this little voice in my head telling me “Go on! You are almost there. Go toward the sun.” And suddenly there was no doubt. I made my choice. I had to move forward and never look back. I was on the right track. And in that moment I knew everything in my life will be ok.

Suddenly the sand wasn’t cold anymore. I took my flip flops off and touched the sand of Sahara with my bare feet. It is something primal, basic in this touch. Walking in the desert with your bare feet. Being so vunerable and strong at the same time. When everything can change in a second and the wheel of fortune starts spinning again.

Suddenly there was only peace in my heart. This peace that happens so rarely. I don’t know if it is a curse of dreamers, restless souls and hopeless romantics. Or is it a blessing. To this day I don’t know.

I was so close to the top. It was so near. Within reach. I knew I would see everything. I would come full circle. As if I was dreaming with my eyes wide open. The dunes were bright orange from the sun. But all I felt was peace. And I knew it then and there. Everything will be alright.

The cold of the sand woke me from daydreaming. I was back to reality. The sun almost set. I quickly snapped some photos. It was time to go back. But in my heart I knew. Nothing will ever be the same. The Sahara desert changed me forever.

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Potepanja

Sama s seboj

Dan se je počasi prevešal v večer. Bil je lep in krasen in popoln in čudovit. Bil je eden tistih dnevov, ki ostanejo za vedno. Ki se jih spomniš še leta in leta kasneje. Dan izpolnjenih sanj.

Bil je čudovit dan v puščavi. Ki pa se je počasi bližal koncu. In vendar sem želela naprej, višje, do konca. Na vrh sipine. Kjer je sonce še močno sijalo in kjer se je odpiral pogled daleč naokrog.

V daljavi se je slišal vrvež tabora. Ljudi, ki so se pripravljali na večerjo in noč pod zvezdami. Bližala se je noč. A jaz nisem hotela nazaj. Ne še. Hotela sem naprej, proti vrhu sipine, kjer je še sijalo sonce in kjer se hlad noči še ni začel.

Pesek pod nogami je postajal vedno hladnejši. Me opominjal, da moram nehati oklevati in se odločiti. “Nazaj ali naprej? Naprej,” je govoril tihi glasek. “Naprej! Vrh je čisto blizu. Pojdi proti soncu.” Naenkrat ni bilo več dvoma. Da sem na pravi poti. Da nima smisla gledati nazaj. Da je prava pot naprej. Da bo še vse v redu.

Naenkrat pesek ni bil več hladen. Sezula sem natikače in se bosa dotaknila Sahare. Nekaj prvinskega je v dotiku peska na golo kožo. Bosemu prečenju sipine. Zaveš se, kako ranljiv in hkrati močan si lahko. Kako se v trenutku lahko vse spremeni in se kolesje usode znova zavrti.

Naenkrat je bil v srcu mir. Kar se mi zgodi le redko. Morda je to prekletstvo nas sanjačev, nepoboljšljivih romantikov in nemirnih duš. Ali pa je blagoslov.

Vrh je bil naenkrat čisto blizu in odpiral se je pogled daleč na vse strani neba. Bilo je kot bi sanjala z odprtimi očmi. Sonce je oranžno obarvalo sipine in jaz sem zrla v daljavo. Sama s sabo. Z mirom v srcu in zavedanjem, da bo vse v redu.

Znova me je hladen pesek zbudil iz teh mojih živih sanj in preselila sem nazaj v tukaj in zdaj. Sonce je skoraj zašlo. Hitro naredim še nekaj posnetkov in se odpravim nazaj. Čeprav vem, da se je nekaj za vedno spremenilo. In da nikoli več ne bo tako, kot je bilo.

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